Meet Tori Faye (@theretiredpartygirl on Instagram)
She was a Mental Health professional by day and a party girl by night. Now, she’s a yoga-doing, water-coloring, blog-writing, “sober babe”. Since pivoting her lifestyle, Tori has expanded her horizons like never before.
“Sobriety offers up plenty of time to indulge your creative side. I have recently gotten into at-home yoga, watercolor painting, and creating graphics for my blog and Instagram. I also write poetry and short stories. I love staying in watching movies and eating popcorn and ice cream with my partner, Sean. My current favorite books are ‘Untamed’ by Glennon Doyle and “Just Mercy” By Bryan Stevenson.”
The path to her new lifestyle was not one that came without challenges, though. The decision to alter one's lifestyle is never easy. It can be so hard to let go of old habits. But as they say, nothing worth having comes easily.
So what made this party girl want to put in her two-week notice? “ALL of the parties made me want to retire. I just don’t think I was ready to give up the identity I acquired through the years of partying. I was afraid that I had built up this confident and sexy person and without alcohol, I wouldn’t know who I was. The funny thing is, without alcohol I found out who I was. Booze helped me hide. I could numb and pretend and distract myself from my true pain, true problems, and my true JOY.”
“I now have a sugar addiction which causes me to break out but HEY no hangovers from an ice cream binge. The best part of my life without alcohol is the power I feel. I feel in control of my life. You don’t realize when you repeatedly wake up with shame and guilt about the previous night you eventually feel you lost control of the trajectory of your life. This is especially true after you tell yourself things like “I'll only have a couple of drinks tonight.” or “No hard alcohol tonight.” or “I’m not going to text my ex!”...and then you let yourself down. Creating any positive lifestyle change creates an internal sense of power. The hardest part of my sobriety has been the undoing. What I mean by this is the way you strip yourself of what you thought you knew about yourself, your friendships, and your relationships. You will quickly learn that not everyone is on board with your lifestyle change. You will challenge someone's expectations of the role you play in their life. Your job is not to apologize for your growth. Your job is not to live up to the role they created for you, your job is to be your best self. You will lose people in the process. You will gain more.”
Tori made the executive decision to take control of her life and it has truly paid off! Drinking has become integral to the adult social scene. That became especially clear based on the reactions Tori received once revealing her journey. So not only did she completely transform her way of life, she challenged the status quo.
“(People would say things like) WAIT, like ever?” “Are you going to drink on your wedding day?” “For how long?” “Someone made a bet on how long my sobriety would last. They were joking but as you can imagine it wasn’t funny.”
Sobriety, especially in a large city like Seattle where Tori resides, can be isolating. Robust non-alcoholic options don’t yet exist on a widespread scale. Many hospitality establishments don’t even have options for those who wish to avoid alcohol, despite the fact that there’s a huge population of adults who don’t drink.
“It feels like when you are in elementary school and the “cool” group of girls won’t let you play with them.”
If there’s one thing you can learn from Tori, it’s that your life doesn’t have to fall apart for you to confront your relationship with alcohol or any substance/habit for that matter. If something in your life isn’t serving you in any way and doesn’t “spark joy”, it’s safe to say you can go without it. Whether it’s a toxic friendship, a bad spending habit, or just the route you take to work. There’s always room for improvement and it’s not always as hard as you think it may be. Challenge yourself to do better for yourself.
@sapiensbeverage on Instagram and Twitter